Cyber readers, who knows what Lefty will get up to. Least of all Lefty. He is unpredictable, prone to chronic exaggeration, gas bagging, and flamboyant naivety - all of which makes him perfect for the music industry.

Please feel free to post him at bender@thecubeonline.com . He probably won't reply, but you never can tell.

Monday (too early)

I was between gigs at the time, meaning I was on the dole headin' down from Cape York as fast as my thumb could carry me, meaning I was broke, and had run out of drugs.

I think we met at a roadside café somewhere on the Pacific Highway. They asked me where I was going? I told them, wherever you are. And that was that. I was in the cube before I could say bass riff . No auditions. No checkin' my chops.

But that's the cube. Nothing is normal with them because, well, they are decidedly abnormal. They're like spontaneous combustion.

You can't outguess them. They are riding first class in the mystery train with their lap-tops out and their modems wired to inner space. They are the new breed of digital gypsies, post hippie , post punk, post grunge, first past the post cyber-marshals of the new millennium.

The cube are the ultimate indy artists. I mean who else would write a song called F**k 'em. It's a call to arms for all us pissed off people of the world, meaning, when was the last time you heard a song start off with the lines:

F**k the bigots and the bastards and the one- eyed weasel warts

F**k the sycophantic suckers who are into every rort.

Tuesday ( too late )

Janey Janey is a journalist. I was trying to explain to her why someone would put a cube on their head but it was no use.so I said Sure you can interview them.

But you're the manager she said How come you don't know.

Some things in this life I suggested, You are better finding out for yourself. But promise me one thing Janey.

What's that?

Don't sleep with the band . That's rule #1. I am giving you a blue chip once in a lifetime world wide exclusive opportunity to break the band. But here's the thing Janey, if you sleep with them, you're gone. You'll never have any professional objectivity again.

Wednesday ( too much )

Janey? You what. With all of them! There goes your professional integrity. I mean this isn't the 60s , it's 2003 and women aren't supposed to sleep with guys who wear cubes on their heads, meaning if you are going to sleep your way to the middle, you've got to know which end to sleep with first, meaning you should have done it with me, meaning never promise a journalist an exclusive on anything without negotiating a deal, meaning oh who cares Janey, you've gone and done it, and I am just one more dumb-arse manager whose been set up by the press.

I think I need a cappuccino, a Big Mac, and my daily dose of Jerry Springer.

the cube | bender@thecubeonline.com | all material copyright the cube 2003